My 2 Years Stay

It was a teary farewell at Singapore Changi Airport 2 years back on 23 September 2007. There were so much tears when I went into the departure gate. Tears from me, tears from my mum, tears from my relatives. The feeling was horrible then. It was as if I was being exiled out of Singapore and never able to go back to see them again. Prior to that, lots of tears had already been shed as I bade farewell to friends. The feeling of anxiety, not knowing what was going to happen when I left and I hate uncertainty. Back then, many people envy me. Envious that I am going to spend 2 years, being a tai-tai (as they claim) and not having to work. But to me, I just felt like 2 years of my life will be wasted, not accomplishing anything.

2 years later on 23 September 2009, I am preparing myself to go back to the place where I call HOME. And once again, the feeling of anxiety kicks in. Once again, I need to re-adjust, re-adapt. Gosh... I am very used to my slow and relaxed lifestyle and now, I need to go back to re-join the human rat race. I am very used to having the whole house to myself (ok lah, Kenneth is most of the time not in and Baby K... eh, he's just a baby) and now, I need to go back and stay with my in-laws for few months before Kenneth sells his flat and we get our own flat. I am very used to being alone with Baby K (most of the times), but going back, things will be different. I am very used to a lot of things here... which going back, it will be totally opposite.

These 2 years here, have make me achieve a lot of things. The following are not in order of preference / importance.

My 2 years stay has.....

1. Makes me a mother
Kenneth and I had our customary wedding in 2005. But after which, we still did not stay together. We tried staying together for a very short period of time in his flat but the journey for me to travel to work was really very tiring. And so, we decided that it was better for me to stay in my Mum's place and meet up only on weekends. His flat is very far north and my mum's place is very centrally located.

Many friends were concern over this issue. They asked, "isn't it weird not to stay together when you guys are already husband and wife?" Well, I guess we are not the very sticky type, we are not the kind that needs to see each other 24/7. We have our own life to led on weekdays and meeting up only on weekends made us treasure the time together more. It was just like the days when we were still dating. I never thought that I will become a mother.

I am very very scare of needles. I couldn't imagine the labour pain, etc. I was very satisfied with my life then. Outing with Shannon every weekend and after which, just return her back to her parents. Not much responsibility. *LOL* Alright, and so... if we never stay together, it will be very hard for me to conceive. And so, coming here has given us this opportunity...erm... for me to conceive and to have our little Kayden who is born on 25 Feb 2009, a date which holds a very significant meaning to Kenneth and I.

2. Makes me learn how to cook and do housework
I never know how to cook nor do housework when I was in Singapore. I didn't even know how to use the washing machine. Like I said in point 1, I stayed with my mum even after marriage. And she has been a SAHM for YEARS! So, she does everything. How I miss those days when I go back home, just switch on the laptop, not having to care about a thing in the world (in this case, housework). I was never much of a helper in the kitchen. My duty when I was young was very simple. STUDY. This was all she asked from us. She would shoo us all back into the room and made us study.

3. Makes me realise that I can stay in solitary
Prior to coming here, I had been warned by a friend that, not to trust people easily and open my eyes big big before I make friends with anyone. And so, I decided to lead a solitary life. I was not close to anyone. I was very careful with the things that I said. But still, from the "info" I last received, I was still being talked about by some people behind my back. *LOL* Oh well.... I also heard that they talked about almost EVERYONE! So..... I think it is just normal / common for me to become one of the topic. I was only close to 2 wives and both had already went back. One went back last June and one went back this March. They are much older and I learnt a lot from them. And recently, I become very good friends with some younger wives! *LOL* And yes, though they are younger, I see things in another POV through their eyes and also learn from them. =) Girls, I hope we will still stay in touch after my return and still meet up when you girls come back to our homeland. =)

For those who knows me well, they would know that I am very much a "friend" person. I am those type who loves to be with people and can talk the night through type. Coming here, has make me realise that I am fine being alone. Ok, I still chat with my friends on MSN though. Maybe not so much as being alone. =p

4. Makes me realise that I can don't talk to anyone for days
When Kenneth went for his detachment when we first reached, I was home alone for days. I did not have anyone to talk to, nor did I have a pet for me to grumble to. My mouth was not open for days. I did not see a single human for days. *LOL*

5. Makes me realise that I can don't go out
Having our own transport is very crucial over here. Unlike in Singapore, the public transportation system is not that well developed. So when Kenneth goes to work on weekdays, I do not step my foot out of the door for days. We normally only go out on weekends. Back in Singapore, I am someone who needs to go out EVERYDAY after work. Still, I love to go out... please do not hesistate to ask me out when I am back! *LOL*

6. Makes me realise that I can spend my days doing nothing
I had been leading a very busy life ever since I graduated from Poly. I took up Part time Degree. I went to work and attended night classes (2 to 3 times a week). I also gave tuition. Teaching has always been my passion. My Father-in-law once told my Brother-in-law to learn from me. *LOL* Well to me, I just don't like to waste time doing nothing. That was why when I first reached, I was VERY LOST. It was like... suddenly, I am sooo free!!

Come to think of it, I also not sure how I coped. And, I think it is rather unfair because my brother went to local University and took a full-time degree course. My sister went to overseas University and took a full-time degree course. And when it came to my turn, my mum didn't want to let me go overseas and so, I took a degree course with an overseas University locally, a combination of my brother's and sister's... but it was part-time! Geez..... Oh ya, I self-funded my degree course because my mum knows that if they are to pay for me, I will not put my heart and soul into studying and might waste their money. Still, I failed a few modules lah. *LOL*

7. Makes me more independent
If I never come here, I think I will be still a "mummy's girl". And no, I don't listen to what she says anymore (most of the times) but rather, I will ask her to do this or that when I am at home. *LOL* Last time, I don't even wash my own mug! And this happens too at Kenneth's house. My in-laws will do everything for us. Ok lah, I really miss this type of life. *LOL*

8. Makes me understand Kenneth better thus becoming a better wife
It is very true that you can only understand a person better after staying together. I strongly encourage people to co-habit before signing on the dotted line. =p Coming to 2 years of seeing him almost everyday, I know what he is thinking and I know how he is feeling, even when he did not say a thing. Actually he is a very easy to understand person, just like an open book, which I feel is not very good when it comes to work. *LOL*

9. Makes me a more calm and peaceful person (and maybe Kenneth also)
I used to be implusive. I say whatever that comes to my mind, without processing or thinking. The stay here has make me grow up (maybe?) and more mature (ok lah, maybe also coz old already). Our quarrels had minimize drastically. We quarrelled before I conceived. We quarrelled when I was very pregnant. Don't ask me what we quarrelled about because I cannot remember. *LOL* It was all those nitty gritty stuff. But after our burden of joy was born, there had been no quarrels at all. This is so amazing. We have been quarrel-free for the pass 6 over months! What a record! *LOL* Sometimes, when we realise that a fight is about to start, we will just walk away. But most of the times, he will just give in. Girls... we have PMS. It's all the hormones' fault! *LOL*

10. Given me the opportunity to stay in another Continent
It is another kind of experience to leave our little sunny island and stay in another part of the work. The culture is totally different here. I would had still continue to be "the frog in the well" if I had chosen to stay put in Singapore 2 years back. Before coming, spoke to a colleague and he strongly encouraged me to come. He had studied in States for couple of years. He said, it is good to come and see another part of the world. Indeed... he is right!

11. Makes me gain something that money can never buy
I lost some and I gain lots during these 2 years. The gains are definitely something that money cannot buy. As for my loss, I will try to make up for it when I am back.

12. Makes me watch a lot of dramas / tv programmes
I spent my days watching HK dramas when I was pregnant. And I also love the tv programmes over here. Those very very interesting reality shows. So going to miss them.

13. Makes me drive with confidence on the road
I gotten my driving license back in 1999 and I never have the courage to drive. After Kenneth passed his Class 3A, he bought a small car - Honda Fit, for my sake, hoping that I can drive too. But, I disappointed him... I only dare to drive at those ulu hours and at ulu places. Even so, I can't park! Ha ha... I always need to get down so that he can do the parking. Over here, things are different. When he went for his 1st detachment in January 2008, I plucked up the courage and drove to the nearby supermarket. And ever since then, driving is not much of a problem. Hopefully when I go back to Singapore, I will dare to drive!

14. Makes me understand someone who is dear to me better
I guess we tend to communicate better through the web. Face to face talk is not for us. *LOL* I guess it's never too late... =)

15. Makes me feel at ease when spending HIS money
I have always been financially independent. I earned and spent my own money before coming here. Of course, when we went out on weekends, all expenses were paid by Kenneth. Sometimes, he would pay for my shopping and for every occasions, he would buy me gifts, not forgetting flowers on Valentine's Day. But most of the times, my shopping was paid through my own pockets.

Coming here, things changed. Suddenly, I no longer have the very comfortable amount that I received from my company every month, instead, reduced to a miserable amount. No choice... need to spend his money. Initially, I was not very used to it. I am a very "ego" person. *LOL* But after spending for 2 years, it's such a JOY! I wonder if I can continue to spend his money when we go back to Singapore (even though I will be working). *LOL*

16. Makes me accept the title as "Your Wife"
His colleagues like to refer to others wives as "your wife". Even those that I know quite well, when they talk to Kenneth about me, they refer me as "your wife". At first, I mind a lot (but I never say out) because in my heart I was thinking, I have a NAME! I was referred as Jean (most of the times) or the buyer/purchaser (when comes to work) last time. Hearing "your wife" kind of put me off.... Again, it was my "ego". *LOL* But after hearing people refer me as "your wife" for 2 years, I am very used to it now.

17. Makes me realised that I had always taken my mum for granted
Over here, have to do everything myself. Gosh... now then I understand my mum's "agony" because once we are here, I am kind of like being in her position. Last time, my mum would tell me "if you don't want to wash the bowls/cups after eating, it's alright... but at least, put it at the sink and soak it with water... very hard to wash off, you know?" It is my turn to say this over here. My mum would ask "what do you want to eat tomorrow?" and the answer is always "anything loh" and she will say, "anything... very hard to cook, you know!" Over here, I am the one being in her shoes. *LOL*

18. Given me the time to re-charge and plan for the future
2 years break is very long. It has given me ample time to re-charge so as to re-join the workforce once back in Singapore. I hope I will be able to start work asap. Keeping fingers cross. =)

19. Makes me love the blue sky and white clouds... a lot
I love to stare at the beautiful sky and day dream... So going to miss it...

20. Makes me realise that my friends are still around and waiting for me
Though I am seldom in contact with some of them, but I am happy to hear that they are waiting for me back in Singapore, to re-join their activities. These 2 years, nothing much has changed between our friendship. But of course, some bestie like Shirley, I constantly see her on MSN. *LOL* And is very very up to date with her life. *wink* She's still the same... Shirley, what about me? Do you think I have changed (in terms of thinking) after being "stuck" at home for 2 years?

I must say that I "achieved" a lot in these 2 years and most of which are "invisible", except for my dear son, who is priceless. =p So, 2 years have pass... what have you achieve in life? =)